Regrets
by caws12
Summary: How will Jay and Erin be after the events of Jay's kidnapping? Will they be okay? Will their partnership be okay? Will they give into their feelings? Will Voight approve?
1. Chapter 1

Erin regretted falling off the deep end. She didn't know how to handle her feelings and the drugs and alcohol seemed like the easiest way for her to push her feelings away. That was until Jay got kidnapped.

Erin walked down the hospital hallway towards Jay's room. She needed to see with her own eyes that he was okay that he was alive. Erin stopped before Jay's room to gather her thoughts. She knocked quietly on the door before opening the door.

"Hey" Erin spoke quietly.

"Hey." Erin moved closer to where he was lying.

Jay saw the pai n in her eyes. He knew that she was blaming herself for his kidnapping.

"Er, this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is. If I had been at work you would have never gotten kidnapped."

"Erin, you did everything you could have and no one blames you especially me."

"..."

"Come here." Erin stood next to his bed. She desperately wanted to climb in next to him and snuggle into his neck like they usually did. Erins eyes welled with tears. She knew everything about Nadia's death would surface she just didn't think that would be right now.

"Sit with me." Jay spoke softly. Erin quickly got in bed with Jay and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck, he still smelled like gunpowder and Calvin Klien cologne, she smiled to herself.

"I was worried sick about you." Erin said.

"Hey I'm okay."

"Yeah but I'm not. I can't lose you Jay, especially not after her, I would die." Tears fell down Erins checks.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here, I would never leave you. And if we're being honest here I thought they were going to kill me and if there were I wanted to die thinking about you. You were all I thought about. I knew that if they killed me you would never be okay..." Jay let his words trail off.

Erin kissed Jay's neck. Erin felt safe. She felt safe with Jay's arm around her side and her knees pulled into his torso and him holding her tight. God how did I get so lucky to have him, Erin thought to herself. The two just sat there in silence the presence of the other bring enough. After a while they both were lulled to sleep in each other's arms.

In the morning the entire 21st district went to the hospital to check on Jay. Hank was worried when Erin hadn't shown up. When the district arrived everyone walked to Jays room together and to be honest no one was surprised when they got to Jays room. Erin was pulled into him and they were fast asleep in each other's arms, they looked peaceful. Hank was furious and everyone had noticed. Antionio immediately realized what Voight was about to do and stepped in.

"Ok, we will come back later, right now we need to find the guys that did this to Jay." The entire team started walking back to their cars but Voight didn't and Antonio and Al stayed.

"Leave them, they haven't done anyrhing."

"They know the rules." Hank spoke with aggravation in his voice.

"Hank there partners." Al spoke

"You can deal with this later." Antinio spoke.

"Fine." Voight stormed off. Al and Antonio looked back over their sholder's to Erin and Jay. She was pressed against his chest with her hand around his torso and her head was snuggled into the crook of his neck. Jay had his hand wrapped around her back holding her to him while his face was buried in her hair. Olinsky and Dawson looked at each other chuckled and then walked away to get back to the district before Voight could do anything stupid.

Erin woke up soon after Olinsky and Dawson had left. She smiled to herself, she didn't realize she fell asleep in Jay's hospital bed snuggled into him. She lightly kissed his neck, hoping not to wake him, he needed the rest. She let herself relax in his arms, she put her head back in the crook of neck and waited for him to wake up.

Jay woke up with Erin in his side. He smiled and kissed her hair. Erin felt Jay kiss her hair and she pulled her head out of the crook of his neck.

"Hey." Erin spoke, her voice quiet.

"Hey." Jay spoke just as softly.

"How are you feeling?" Erin asked as she put her head back on his sholder breathing in his cologne.

"I'm okay...Thank you for being here." Jay said.

"You've been there for me before..." Erin let her words trail off.

Erin felt Jay relax into her. His body was warm and she was cold. His hands felt nice against the thin material of her shirt. He moved his hand closer towards her hips, He gently lifted the end of her shirt up and rubbed his thumb along her soft skin. Erin sucked in a breath when Jay's calloused hand touched her skin. She turned her head and kissed his neck and jawline lightly. She let out a breath.

"When Al called me and told me you got kidnapped I freaked out, I don't know what I would do without you, you mean so much to me. I've never been good with dealing my emotions and you've been the only person besides, Hank, Al, Camille and Justin to have broken my walls down. You terrify me sometimes."

"Why?" Jay asked simply.

"I feel like if you asked me to tell you about my past and all my mistakes I could and Hank and Al are the only ones who acutally know how bad my childhood was."

Jay felt tears streaming down her face.

"Hey, it's okay, you can talk to me. Er, I care about you more than anything in the world and that will never change."

"I know Jay." He kissed her hair and held her tight. He knew if Voight saw them like this he would surley have his head. Erin never wanted to move from her spot in his side. The pair stayed like that for a long time, just holding the other.

Dawson was the first to arrive at Chicago MED. When he got to Jay's room he saw the pair in the same position there ere when they were sleeping, he quietly chuckled to himself before knocking on the door.

"Antonio." Jay spoke.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I mean I've been better." Jay chuckled.

"Just an FYI Voight is on his way over here so Erin you better get out of Jay's side before Voight Kills him." The three chuckled, it felt good to laugh. Erin heard Al say Voight's name and she jumped out of Jay's side and onto the chair next to his bed. Jay and Antonio chuckled at Erin. Voight saw Erin in the chair next to Halstead and felt better. They knew the rules about in house relationships.

"Halstead you don't look so dead today." Ruzek said.

"Haha, funny." Jay shot back.

Will, Jay's younger brother came in.

"How you feeling bro?" He asked.

"Eh."

"Okay, then, I'll send Nat in a while to get you to sign your discharge papers."

"Huh." Jay spoke.

"Don't" Will already knew what his older brother was poking at.

"The whole unit laughed.

"Erin, can you come with me for a second." Will asked.

"Sure." Erin had no idea what Will needed.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For having his back no matter how annoying or aggravating Jay can get."

"Yeah well he's had my back so."

"I know he'll never admit it, not now anyways but he's in love with you."

"Really" Erin questioned.

"Yeah."

Jay had just signed his discharge papers and was heading home when Erin caught Will's eye. He pulled out his phone and sent Erin a text saying, 'Take care of him for me, I know he wants to be around you.' all Erin replied was 'Of course, I want to be around him too.' She smiled at Will before driving Jay to his apartment. The drive back to Jay's apartment was silent. When they got there Erin walked JAy up hoping he would ask her to stay the night with him. They got up the stairs and JAy opened his door, he left the door open silently inviting Erin in. They were both tired and JAy just wanted to go to bed with Erin in his arms. Jay walked into his bedroom and Erin followed him. Erin sat on his bed and Jay threw her on of his shirts, he turned to look at her.

"Stay the night."

"Of course." Erin replied trying to hide the smile that was forming on her lips.

They both changed and crawled into Jay's bed, the sheets were cold but Jay's body wasn't. Erin faced him and he pulled her into him. She relaxed and they were both lulled to sleep in eachother's arms and it felt so right to be in Jay's bed with his strong arms rapped around her tiny body.


	2. Chapter 2

Erin woke up in Jay's bed with his strong arm wrapped around her waist. She rolled over to face him and she placed a soft gentle kiss on his check, careful not to wake him. Her eyes drifted to his lips, oh how badly she wanted to kiss him. Erin was pulled from her thoughts by knocking on his door. She quietly slipped out of bed and went to open the door. When Erin opened the door she was horrified. It was Hank.

'ERIN!'

'Hi, Hank.'

'What are you doing here in Halstead's shirt.' He asked.

'Jay asked me to stay and I'm his partner so I did.'

'Did you sleep on the couch like his partner?'

'Ummmm...'

'Oh my god you were in his bed, that's why you smell like his cologne.'

'What...no your crazy Hank.'

'Hmm, lets see, Halstead's shirt, bed head, no sheets, blankets or pillows on his couch.'

'Fine I was in his bed'

'Ugh, you know the rules'

'I didn't sleep with him if that's what your implying.'

'I'll see you on Monday, Linsday.'

'Really, your calling me Linsday again, you only do that when your mad at me but there's nothing to be mad about.'

'Yes there is, you slept with your partner'

'No, we slept in the same bed but it's not like we were having sex.'

'mhm, bye Erin.' With that Hank shut the door leaving Erin speechless. Erin walked back into his bedroom and slipped back under the covers and into his warm body. Jay woke up to find Erin snuggled into him, her head buried in his chest. He chuckled, he never would have guessed that Erin Linsday would be the snuggling type. He kissed her hair and she lifted her head to look at him.

'Mornin'

'Morning, how are you feeling?' Erin asked a look of concern flashing across her face.

"eh'f

Jay pulled Erin closer to him, she loved to stare into his big blue eyes that made her heart melt. Their lips were mere inches apart, Erin let her eye's travel between Jay's lips and his eyes. Jay was doing the same thing to her. Their heads moved her closer until there lips were no more than an inch apart. Jay so badly wanted to kiss her.

...

Erin had left Jay's apartment only twenty minetes ago and she already missed him and sexy body. She stood at her kitchen island trying to stop the horribly innapropriate thoughts about Jay from running through her mind. Erin finally grabbed a beer from her fridge and sat down on her couch to watch tv. She couldn't focus all she saw was Jay's extremely toned stomach and his hands touching her.

'STOP IT YOUR PARTNERS!' Erin yelled into space.

Erin couldn't take t so she shut off her tv and headed to her bedroom. Erin was restless and cold. She had only spent one night with Jay but she couldn't sleep. Fianly after almost four hours of trying to fall asleep she grabbed one of Jay's hoodies from her closet and got her keys. As she opened her door she found Jay on the other side. She dropped her keys and wrapped her arms around his neck like she hadn't seen him in years. He quickly responded by putting his hands around her tiny body, holding her to him. They held onto each other for dear life and Jay didn't even let her go to walk in to her apartment, he just picked her up with her arms still wrapped around him. Once they were in Erin's apartment, Jay kicked the door shut with his foot not once putting Erin down. He carried her into to her room where only then did her put her down. The pair changed and quickly jumped in Erin's bed. Jay pulled her into him and she kissed the bottom of his neck while he kissed her forehead and hair. Within minuetes the pair was fast asleep.

...

Erin was woken up by Jay's lips on her neck. His kisses were gentle and soft and his lips were soft and supple.

"Jay..' Erin moaned as she felt his tongue on the skin of her neck. He clearly knew the effect he was having on her because he decided to push her more and nip at her neck. Erin arched her back off her bed forcing herself deeper into Jay's mouth. Jay kept pushing and pushing Erin until she couldn't take it and met his lips with hers. His lips were soft against her own. The two were pulled from their makeout session when they heard a knocking on Erin's door.

'Shit'

'What'

'That's Voight.' Erin said quietly.

'IT'S WHO' Jay whisper yelled.

'You heard me.'

'Yeah I did but I'm not ready to die.'

'haha, don't worry I wont let him hurt you but you have to stay here.'

'Where would I go, scaling your building without a shirt sounds like fun.'

'I'd give you one of your hoodies back.'

Erin saw Jay's eyes widen.

'What'

'My car...it's downstairs.'

'Where down stairs.'

'outfront. Like right out front.'

'Shit, he knows your here.'

'Okay maybe scaling your building doesn't sound like a bad idea.'

'Not happening, i'd miss you too much.'

Jay captured her lips in a kiss.

'What do you want to say to him.'

'I don't know.'

'Well we better figure it out fast.' Jay spoke with a hint of anxiousness in his voice. Erin pressed her lips to his to reassure him.

'I mean that's why you have backup.' Jay chuckled before kissing Erin one last time.


	3. Chapter 3

'Hmm, I guess I should get that before Voight kicks my door down.'

'Yeah, you should.' Jay kissed her quickly.

Erin opened her door to reveal her dad.

'Hi.'

'Oh your gonna try to act all sweet and innocent, hmph.'

'What..'

'Oh Erin don't act so naïve I know your hiding Halstead somewhere in this apartment, so cut the crap.'

'Always straight to the point Hank.'

Erin opened her door the rest of the way to let Hank in. She walked over to where Jay stood leaning against her bedroom door frame and wrapped her arms around his waist. He moved his hand till it was arpund her sholder and he was holding her to him. Hank was looking out the window while Erin ended up in Jay's arms. He turned to look at them and he let his mouth fall open. Erin stood in Jay's side holding him next to her.

'You two want to explain anything to me.'

Erin looked up at Jay.

'What's there to explain, I mean we haven't done anything.'

'Really? Then why are you standing in his arms in his shirt.'

Erin stood speechless and shifted slightly in Jay's arms. He tightened his grip on her to reassure her. He turned his head to kiss her hair. Hank saw the smile plastered on Erin's face, he had never seen her so happy. As much as Hank hated to admit it, Halstead was good for her, he truly cared for Erin. The three finished their conversation and Hank left, slamming Erin's door behind him. After the door had slammed shut Jay grabbed Erin by the waist pulling her close to him. He kissed her passionately. She kissed him back. Jay pushed her up against her bedroom door frame and then pulled her onto his hips. Erin reached for the ends of his shirt despertly needing the feeling of skin. There kisses were messy, a mix of tongue and teeth and lips. Jay pulled away first, his lips immeditaly attacking her neck. Erin felt Jay's tongue run over her neck, she moaned slightly. Jay kept his mouth on her neck trying to draw out the moan she was trying to stifle out. Finally Erin gave up and let the moan escape her lips. Jay smiled against her neck and gave her one last peck on her neck before bringing his lips to meet hers. She smiled against his lips as she kissed him.

By the time Friday had rolled around Erin just wanted to curl up in Jay's side. Hank was ignoring her an it was really hard for Erin. Erin went home with Jay not wanting to be alone. Jay opened his door and the two took off their coats and shoes and Erin went to change. Once Erin had taken everything off and changed into one of his shirts she went over to Jay and hugged him, they hugged for a couple of minuetes before Jay let her go but Erin didn't move, she just wanted to stay in his arms all night.

'Er... you okay.' Jay's voice was soothing.

'Mhm, I'm just tired.'

Jay dropped his head and kissed Erin's hair. Jay walked them towards his couch, they sat down and Erin immediately curled into him. Jay had his back against the couch while his arm drapped over his girlfriend, who right now had her head buried in his chest. Jay grabbed the blanket from the other side of the couch and covered them both. Jay felt Erin place a soft quick kiss on his side before snuggling back into him. Jay flipped on the tv, when he looked back down at Erin she had the blanket pulled up to her chin and she had shifted all of her weight onto him. He chuckled slightly. Within a couple of hours the pair was fast sleep on Jays couch. In the morning Jay woke up in his living room on his couch with Erin laying on top of him. He smiled before going back to sleep.


End file.
